Turmoil in Progress: Something to Say

Showing posts with label Something to Say. Show all posts

Weight Blog

A week ago, I checked on my weight and I was surprised to see that I've already reached the heaviest weight I ever had in my entire life. A fucking 291lbs.! I was initially shocked. I couldn't believe it. I mean, I don't feel like I'm getting bigger, but this freak digital weight scale tells me otherwise.

I felt devastated. I'm starting to get depressed again. How could let this happen? I looked back, and figured out that between those ice creams, pizzas, burgers, and huge amounts of Korean food, this happened. How could I do this to myself? I mean how could not take care of myself. And now, my self-confidence just went down the drain.

And so, I decided to try different methods that I've tried before. Some of them worked like wonders, and some of them just didn't work out as I've heard they would. But still, I want to try. I don't want to be this big. I've always wanted to stay chubby, but not like this. On Gabriel Iglesias' levels of chubbiness, I'd be: "Damn!"

Ok, so absolutely no rice, no eating after 6, less fat, less sodium, less sugar, less carbs. And of course, no diet is ever effective without exercise, so for now, walking - half to one hour walk sounds nice. I'll go and sign up for gym after I move to Bay Area. I've always wanted to swim. Like swim everyday for an hour - Oh god, that's the best workout. I'm thinking about staying late more, because I lost a lot of weight when I was doing English lessons. I was like, go to work 4 in the morning, walk home, I ate a lot, but I go to sleep like 1, 2am tops.

And so, I would be taking notes of my progress, and be writing it here. Any weight losing advice would be so much appreciated, noted that you know that I don't want to lose too much weight. Just wanna be the Choi 7 years ago. Chubby and cute at 210lbs. Wish me luck! ;)

Unsent

Dear Zhamd,
I like you a lot. I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now and I respect that. I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future and want to come visit me in California, I would be open to spending time with you and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

Dear Nebz,
I liked you too much. I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me, and think solely about themselves, and you were plenty self-absorbed for my taste at the time. I used to say the more emo the better. The truth is whenever I think of 2009 your face comes up with its innocence like it was yesterday.

Dear Ina,
I love you muchly. You've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available and supportive and nurturing and consummately there for me. I kept drawing you in and pushing you away. I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your arms and cry in front of you for the first time. You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself. What was wrong with me?

Dear Reid,
You rocked my world. You had a charismatic way about you with the women and you got me seriously thinking about having a home, and you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass. But I couldn't really feel you were giving as much effort to me as I did to you, and that stopped us from going any further than we did. It's kinda too bad because we could've had much more fun.

Dear Teken,
We learned so much. I realize we won't be able to talk for some time and I understand that as you do. The long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could. we were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives. I will always have your back and be curious about you, about your career, and your whereabouts.

[edited from the song Unsent by Alanis Morissette]

Bioshocked Again!

Getting to be a "Big Daddy" is an just awesome. It's like seeing Rapture in another point of view. When I was walking the halls of Rapture, I get this feeling of Nostalgia -- It felt like, nothing can surprise me now. But as I go on with the game I find that Rapture has so much more to offer.

Now that the player is a "Big Daddy" you are now to protect [or not] the little sisters from harm, and harvest as much adam as you can [or not]. But the Big sisters are on the way, including a new antagonist, Sophia Lamb. Most of the fights are pre-assigned, meaning you know a battle will be commencing in a certain area. This will give you time to prepare for every battle, reload your weapons, restock your items, plant some traps, and save your game. It might sound easy but every harvest is like an ambush. Like a bunch of splicers, big daddies, and big sisters all up to get you.

About the controls and the gameplay, being able to dual wielding is much better than the first Bioshock. The weapons and plasmid upgrades are just excellent. Being able to combine plasmids to make powerful traps is just so cool.

But I must say, this game would be nothing if the Bioshock is not as good. Story-wise, i think the original Bioshock offers a lot more twists and ideas. Bioshock 2 lacks freshness and complexity. But all-in-all it is a pretty good game. Replayability is above average. Thanks to 2K for the experience.

"For every choice, there is an echo. With each act, we change the world." - Sophia Lamb

"Love is a chemical, no matter what the origin. We give it meaning by choice." - Eleanor Lamb

The Missing Piece and The Big O

The Missing Piece is one of my favorite stories of all time. It was written by Shel Silverstein and was published as a children's picture book in 1976. It's a story about a piece's adventures in finding that piece that would make us complete. Do we really need another piece who will complete us? And when do you know if you found the perfect piece? Do we always have to have the answers to all our questions?

The Missing Piece Meets the Big O is another storybook by Shel Silverstein published in 1981. I think it was a sequel to The Missing Piece. The story is about finding yourself and knowing what you really want. Sometimes you can find the answers when you just stop and listen to yourself. Sometimes, we have the answers we've been looking for all along.

Manila Manila

Manila, Manila, I keep coming back to Manila.. Simply no place like Manila.. Manila, I'm coming home..

Sometimes, I miss Manila. Specially when I hear news or see pictures about it. I remember the old times. When I was younger. When we used to place on the streets. When we go out and dance in the rain. When I ride the jeepneys and tricycles. When me and the guys wait up the alley and gang up on someone and take their money and cellphone.. -- [O.O] Kidding! -- Good times.. good times..

I never thought there would come a day that I would miss waking up in the morning and eat pan de sal and sinangag, or walking by the bumpy allies and streets, or drinking soda in a plastic bag, or ride the MRT, or just hang out with friends.. I thought those days would never end..

Manila. I grew up in Sampaloc, Manila. I lived in Manila from the day I was born 'til I was 8 years old. We used to live on the 3rd floor of an apartment building. I remember how high our floor was. When I came back to our place in Sampaloc when I was 14, The rails from our terrace was up to my waist, but when I was younger I remember those rails to be taller than me!

But then we moved a lot inside Metro Manila - Quezon City, Mandaluyong City, Makati City, but everywhere is the same in Metro Manila. There's always a lot of things to do. You'll always have good friends. There will always be some drama. There will always be something to eat. There will always be home. [I miss the drama. lol]

Who's Your Doggy?!

Do you have a pet? What's his name? Is it Max? Spot? Benjie? C'mon guys! You can do better than that! There's a lot of pet names that has been used over and over, and it's just sad. Think about being born in a world where you can't be yourself, a world where everyone is either a John or a Jane. That sucks. So please, guys. If you're gonna name a pet, be creative, at least. Your pet will love you for it. :D

So, how do we become creative with our pet's name? As a spontaneous person like myself, I loved naming my pets with random things that comes to my mind. I named my last goldfish "Porkchop". I named two of our cats as "Mom" and "Dad" [Inay at Itay]. (Just imagine how it would sound when I call for them at night, right?)

In my lifetime, We had soooooo many pets. We had dogs, cats, mice, birds, lizards, fish, pigs, lice, worms, pigs, spiders, you name it.. Our family has always been pet lovers. I think it's different when you grow up having pets. You become kinder and more sensitive. There was a time when a kitten fell to our backyard. We cared for it and welcomed it in our home. A few months later, we just realized we had 24 cats already. Each of them with a name different than the other. How do we know who's who? We named them after their markings. Do you know those inkblots the Psychologist show people, and ask them what it is? It's kinda like that.

Why become creative with a pet's name? Well, you can always be a mediocre pet owner, right? I think one of the advantages of having a cool pet's name is that it's always a good icebreaker. Specially when a boring person. [lol] If you find yourself in an akward situation, you can always say, "I named my dog Herpes." or "Last night I was dreaming about Porkchops."

Personally, I think the name Herpes is the bomb. I read someone named his dog Herpes and he was like, ""hey my Herpes broke out last night, have you seen it?", "I didn't want to give Herpes to my sister but my mom said I had to.", "The thing about Herpes is once you have him you'll never let him go!", "I had to pay $600 for Herpes shots today!", and "My Herpes broke out and put my neighbor in the hospital." This is hilarious! xD [thanks tshp]

So, what are good pet names? Well, there are these names that demand attention like: Hey, Hey You, Left, Right, Help, Stop, Psycho, Snatcher, or Bomb. Or you can name them as people like: Mister, Miss, Baby, Mr.President, your teacher's name, someone you knew, your neighbor's name, or your neighbor's cat name[if you have a dog]. This two categories are good if you and your pet our outside. People will definitely look at you. Or arrest you. You can also name them as food like: Spaghetti, Carrot, Onion, Apple Juice, Porkchop, Chowder, Coke, or whatever your favorite [or least favorite] food is. You can also name them with random terms, places, phrases, or event like: 4 hours, iPod, Destroyer, Herpes, Agent 99, It's complicated, Burger King, Johnny Depp, Ultra Killatron Omega 5000X, Elven_Master051, or even Chuck Norris. Anything.

The sky is the limit to having a BadAss name for your pet. Just make sure the name fits on their tags. And please, no obscene or insulting names. It's for your own good.

Why does the Tiger have Stripes?

There's an ancient legend that tells the story. When a tiger cub is born, he doesn't have a single stripe anywhere. In fact, to look at him, he really isn't much of a tiger at all.

Still, the little cub starts to explore and have adventures. He starts to grow, and he starts to learn. He learns courage, and kindness, and how to think for himself. He learns all the things a cub has to learn, if he's really going to be a real tiger, the lord of the jungle.

And as he learns, the legend says, everyone starts to see his stripes. The stripes that are the mark of his maturity, wisdom, and pride.

The way of the Tiger:

A tiger cub who takes a stumble quickly learns to pick himself up and dust himself off.

A cub can feel afraid, it's only natural. That's when he finds the courage to face down his fears.

Everyone wants to know what this cub has to say for himself. He tells them, whenever they'll listen.

A smart cub knows where to find shelter. A kind one makes room and shares it with his friends.

Every creature the curious cub meets is different, everyone unique and fascinating.

This cub enjoys nothing better than making new friends and doing things together.

The tiger begins to see his place in the world. He starts to find out who he is, and see all he might do.

Growing stronger, the tiger is proud to be able to help others when they're in danger.

The path of life has many pitfalls. But the tiger is smart, and solves problem ingeniously.

As he's growing up, the tiger gladly care for the younger ones.

Climb higher, go further, achieve more. This is the tiger's creed. He never stops being himself for a moment.

The tiger leads, others follow because they see his strength and wisdom.

Glad to be born on the year of the Tiger. :)

'09 Best Year of my Life [so far]

This year is the best year of my life. A year of countless opportunities, great people, unconditional love, broken promises, limitless hope, wet pillows, and dead ends...

The US migration. I thought things would be easier. I thought things would go as planned. But it seems things are more uncontrollable here than anywhere I've ever been. But even though, it is still the land of opportunities. There's a lot of things I could do here that I would just dream about doing back in Manila..

There's a lot of times that I just want to give up. Lots of times that I feel so alone. Like there's nobody out here who can help me. I am not used to feeling like this, specially in a foreign land. I am so afraid.. There are times where I cant stand up anymore.. But still the person you thought who could help you, would not extend his hand. It made me stronger, but it also made me selfish.

"Every passing minute is a chance to turn it all around." - Vanilla Sky. What if I decided on the last minute before I boarded that plane, to just walk out and abandon going to the US? What could I be doing right now? Right this moment. What could you be doing? There's a zillion possibilities, but that won't matter anymore. Because right this minute is all that matters. Whether you choose to continue reading this or go back to what you were doing, It's your choice, And this choice will affect everything around you.

Love is the fuel of my body and soul. It gives me hope. The extra push that I need. This year, I felt love like no other. I am very thankful. I am still here because of you guys. I realized that a few real friends is more important than a lot of fake ones. I don't have to impress everyone. All I need is the ones that really matter.

Time is the best gift you could ever give to the one you love. I hope I have given all the time I could possibly give this year. It will show how much you mean to me.

I am gonna work hard and play hard next year. I will be a better person. For myself and for the ones I love. I will overcome this sadness. I will be happy. I WILL BE HAPPY!